Dead man walking

I'm a dead man walking.
Yes, I am.
My eyes do not know which side to turn to
my heart so filled with sorrow and pain...
I keep thinking why did life made such a precious gift to me
and suddenly she took it away

I'm a dead man walking,
indeed I am.
I can not stand on my two feet
I only think of what has been.
I dream of things never fulfilled
and that you are so far away from me.

I'm a dead man walking,
and my bed is a grave.
For I can not help thinking
that you left me to pray
and I'm scared to death
of ever meeting you again.
(which I won't).

And it keeps me walking,
cause I'm still alive...
but my heart is dead
as the pig in the mud
(as you once wished to say).

Oh, Lord, spare me from this suffering...
I feel like Job when he pleaded
he had done nothing to deserve what he became...
I can only say I loved too much,
I wanted too much
I felt too much
I embraced too much
and I can barely understand
if the things that went wrong
went really wrong or were really bad.

I'm a dead man walking,
for the love of Christ
let me touch your holy shroud
and make me sane again
I can't bear feeling so bad
even if it's the reverse of having felt so well.

I'm a dead man walking
God have mercy on me
I wonder what he's doing
every hour of the week
I wonder does he miss me
or is it me just to be killed
'cause the abscense is not in my mind
nor in my heart
and I would wish neither on his.

I'm a dead man walking,
and that's all that there is.

Silvia.