FEAR.

Darkness. Darkness and more darkness.

It sorrounds me.
And I don't know how to go out. It just flows.
I start thinking where I went wrong.
I hurt, I hurt, it hurts. I throw punches to the air.
I want to defend myself.
The world hurts.
Nonsense knocks at my door, she laughs.
That's bitter.
I see happy faces I don't recognize. Happy people that don't love me anymore.
I start wondering if all those happy moments really existed.
If I was really there.
With those happy people.
Am I part of it?
Am I part of anything?
Was I there?
Am I here now..?

Is there any part of me that belongs to anything?
Do I have a meaning?
Me, Myself, I.
Does my soul exist?

I sense it separate from my mind.
Lust is struggling with my needs.
And again, misery is struggling with my brains.

Again, and again I give in.
I just don't know what to do.
Is there anybody in here?

Hormones.
Sense.
Sensitivity.
Feelings.
Hunger.
Hate.
Mistery.
Misunderstanding.
Nobody will give in to me.
Nobody will return it.

What did I not care about?
I must have it all turn upside down.

I'm never out of reach.
I'm constantly wishing to be reached.

But I see the darkness on the street.
I feel the breeze among my hair.
I shiver, I hear the whisper in the wind.
The clouds they fall apart and I sense it.

The dark.

Where am I?

Alone. Inside my eyes.

And they never come. Nobody does ever come.
Why am I rational, why guttered at the same time?
why do I feel so much?
It makes me think too much,
to face that roller coaster I can't avoid...

Strangelove... that's how my loves go. Always. They always go that way.

It seems I always end up singing the same old song,
the same old mantra,
the same old litany.

"Pain, will you return it?
I'll say it again,
PAIN.
I won't say it again.
Strangelove, that's how my love goes.
Strangelove.
I give in, that's how my love goes.
Will you give it to me?
I give in.
Strangelove, again and again.
I give in.
I'll say it again.
I give in.
Again and again.
That's how my love goes".

Give in to me.
Please give in to me.
Strangelove.
Dear.
Little...
Sweetheart.
Fade.
Come to me.
Feel.
Breathe.
Give in to me.

It's just oxygen I need... the one I was born without.
The one I'm constantly reaching for.

The one I was deprived from, from the very beginning.